Caf’ Creations: Fancy Pants Sandwich and Chocolate Bagels

by Alex Melnick
assistant arts & life editor

Here at the P&W, we know the difficulty of going from magical home-cooked delicacies to the ever-repetitive meal plan. Here are some Caf’ creations to brighten your mealtime and, hopefully, prevent you from eating chicken nuggets every day.

The Fancy Pants Sandwich

One time, I was somehow allowed into a pretentious vegetarian restaurant, and I ate a sandwich that made me reevaluate my life choices. This is my re-creation of said sandwich. Caution: Peasants will look at you funny for using apples in your sandwich and Panini pressing them, but pay them no mind. They are peasants, and you are a god of sandwiches.

You’ll Need:

  • The sandwich line to be open
  • One loaf of ciabatta bread
  • One apple
  • Tiny bowl of sprouts
  • Spinach
  • Provolone cheese
  • Craisins (I mean, if you want)

First, cut your apple into strips. No one wants you to take up time in the line cutting your apples before you grill this. Tell the Caf’ worker behind the line she looks pretty today. This isn’t required, but I feel like the good vibes will improve your sandwich. Ask for provolone and spinach on your ciabattabread. Receive said sandwich, and place apples on bottom half and sprouts on the top half. Place Craisins on whatever side seems the most stable. Spray grill lightly with spray to avoid tragedy.  Then, panini press your sandwich until it is lightly toasted and the cheese has melted. Eat your sandwich in front of peasants. Rejoice in your healthy meal.


Chocolate Bagels

Now that you have something healthy in your stomach, let me give you the directions for a sweet treat you can spend you caloric karma on. I eat this whenever my life has gone really poorly, or whenever the Caf’ has managed to only serve meat products. Both happen pretty often.

You’ll Need:

  • Blueberry or regular bagels (Note: You can really do this on any bread in the Caf’.)
  • Two packages of peanut butter
  • One tiny bowl of chocolate chips
  • Whatever other sweet product in the Caf’ you feel like. Ex: Lucky Charms, sunflower seeds, granola, etc.

Very lightly toast your bagel. If you toast it too much, you will render your bagel into a burning mess of peanut butter and shame. Make sure your chocolate chip bowl stays far, far, far away from the bagel at all times. The chocolate chips here can smell fear, and will instantly liquidate themselves the moment you put them near anything warm. Once you have managed to survive awkwardly waiting at the toaster, go back to your seat and spread peanut butter on your bagel, and then sprinkle chocolate chips all over it. Enjoy!