by Madelyn Walker
I have come to a realization. This is a generalization, and is obviously not applicable to every couple or every college campus, but it needs to be addressed. We have become a generation of whateverers. The concept of dating and courtship is almost dead. I do not think the blame should be cast on either party. I do not buy into the idea that women have to act like ladies to be treated like them, and I do not buy into the idea that men are dogs with one thing on their minds. I do, however, buy into technology and what social media can do to our culture.
I think first it is important for me to explain how I define whatevering. “Whatevering” is a term that I use to describe those “couples” that are not “official” they do not go on dates, and are just keeping it “casual,” seeing where it goes. These people are actively not defining their relationship because they don’t want a significant other, but they do want all the perks that come with it. Whatevering is a total copout, and a way for people to exploit each other. I understand that there is a “getting to know you” stage of every relationship, but when does that stage end and the next, more serious begin? The formality of dating is gone, in part because neither side wants to take responsibility. Then, if one party starts seeing someone else, they can claim they do not owe their partner anything, because they were never official anyway.
Here is how I see technology coming into play: So you and your boo thing make it official on Facebook or MySpace (is that still a thing?), its on your Twitter bio, and your Instagram is loaded with pictures of you both. Then something happens, and the relationship ends. You have to go through the embarrassment of deleting everything and changing your status. Then you have to endure all the questions (is it anyone’s business anyway?). Well, if you are just whatevering, you have no shame in leaving it all as it is: no questions, no baggage. Also, becoming official at your college campus now means every person in your life knowing. I mean, really, who isn’t on Facebook? It adds so much pressure that it is almost unrealistic to ask this of anyone.
So here is my challenge to all you fine gentlemen and lovely ladies: Stop the whatevering! Honestly, just because it is not on Facebook does not mean that you cannot define your relationship. It will be good for you both and will allow you to feel more confortable being honest and real with each other. I am no expert on anything in particular, but I am pretty good at having an opinion. Take this hypothesis for what it is worth, but do not let technology turn us into a generation of apathetic whateverers. This means not excepting whatevering in all its forms.