Millsaps Football Team Considering Move to Los Angeles

by Jules Gonsoulin

sports editor

After a 2015 season filled with speculation and rumors, Millsaps Majors fans across the nation are understandably disgruntled at the indecisive nature of the football program’s talks regarding a move to Los Angeles. Recently hired Athletic Director Donnie Brooks said in a press conference this morning, “At this point in time, it is truly difficult to predict where we will be playing our football games next season.” Brooks also mentioned that the recently relocated Los Angeles Rams are reportedly open to sharing a stadium with the Majors, under the condition Millsaps adopts a slightly less polarizing mascot.

LA Rams head coach Jeff Fisher said, “We really don’t want to be associated with a Confederate army officer, but on the flip side, sharing a city and a stadium with the Majors would be a huge opportunity for us.” Fisher also mentioned “I’m sure they will bring literally dozens of new fans to Los Angeles. This is a great place to play the sport we all love and build a loyal fan base.”

It’s still slightly unclear what a full season for the Millsaps Majors of Los Angeles would look like. If the move actually happens, the Majors are expected to immediately change conferences, departing the Southern Athletic Association for the NFL’s AFC West division alongside the San Diego Chargers, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, and Super Bowl 50 champion Denver Broncos.

Millsaps head coach Aaron Pelch spoke on the team’s chances in a division as tough as the AFC West. He said, “Wins will definitely be hard to come by, and it will take at least a few decades for us to catch up, but I’m confident our guys can take this change in stride and eventually chase a Super Bowl title.” While the Majors may struggle at first to win games, The Purple & White likes their chances against the Broncos, who recently signed embattled quarterback Mark Sanchez to be their signal caller.

At press time, athletic director Brooks was reportedly mulling over Los Angeles stadium options, insisting that the new arena must be equipped with a tailgating area large enough to fit a bubble pit, bouncy castle, beer garden and Luby’s Kid Zone.